


you looked at death in a tarot card (and you saw what you had to do)

by HazardousDestiny



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Coping, F/M, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, No Plot/Plotless, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Songfic, keefe basically struggles between being a good friend and something more, these children are so fcked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21660214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazardousDestiny/pseuds/HazardousDestiny
Summary: It is known to all that Sophie Foster has the fucking weirdest taste in music. It's not so strange anymore when it saves her.Keefe was fortunate enough to be part of the group of people directly supporting her, but there's not much that he can do, especially after all that he has done. When Sophie, in all her desperation and frustration, reaches out for him, he's going to do all it takes to ensure that she'll be fine.Sometimes, it's not the grand sweeping actions or expensive gifts. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to.
Relationships: (IMPLIED), Sophie Foster & Keefe Sencen, Sophie Foster/Fitz Vacker, Sophie Foster/Keefe Sencen
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	you looked at death in a tarot card (and you saw what you had to do)

**Author's Note:**

> It started out as a crackfic, before having some semblance of a plot...
> 
> Title taken from one of my favourite P!ATD songs - Dying in LA. Enjoy!!
> 
> \--Re-edited/Updated as of 11/2/2020--

It is known to all that Sophie Foster has the fucking weirdest taste in music. It was announced similarily to the rest of the differences that had set her apart from the Elvin community - accidentally and her being unaware.

Honestly, Keefe doesn’t really like her music. He’s fine with most of it, but some of the songs are just repetitive and grating and they all sound the same. He doesn’t understand why Sophie loves it so much, especially those that don’t sound _musical_ in the slightest.

His personal theory as to why Sophie likes these songs so much is because they remind her of the Forbidden Cities, of her old life. The remnants that she had to give up, the scraps that she’s desperately holding on.

He's heard her scream about 'closing the goddamn door' and how she's 'not okay'. He's also heard her hum about 'letting it go' and some other cheesy love ballad about being 'her September song'... If he tried, Keefe Sencen could probably relate every single song that he heard Sophie sing to some random memory or two.

"Let's get down to business to defeat the...hans?" Finals week. In a desperate bid to cope with the mounting stress that came with the exams, Sophie started humming to herself, even pulling out moves from nowhere and nearly socked Fitz in the nose. The look on his face was _glorious._

("Something about...Dizznee?" Dex has said vaguely once , shrugging a shoulder. "It’s some human thing apparently. She said that he was a dude that created an Organization providing entertainment to children, even though their main audience consisted of adults. I know, it’s weird." _What?_ )

Some of the songs weren't even in English. At least that he could recognise. Others just went over his head as Sophie excitedly belted out obscure lyrics. _(What's a despacito?)_

Despite the strangeness of the music that she listened to, it was a good indicator of her mood. Akin a warning sign for bad weather. Everyone knew to keep an ear out for the songs that Sophie was listening to so that they could prepare how best to deal with her.

It's simple. Every time after something particularly disastrous happens - Mr Forkle's death being one more in that motherfucking long list- it's a toss-up between the angry screaming ones that threaten to pierce through his ears and into his brain, or the sad ones. 

When push comes to shive, Keefe always hopes for the angry ones. Not a Song himself, but the rage and power portrayed through the lyrics encapture his own tumulous emotions pretty well, especially whenever Sophie raged at his own shitty parents with him. 

(He might've sneaked in sometimes when he felt particularly low and self-deprecating. They would just scream and jump as they raged about the fallacies of the society that they were born in. All of them had, at one point or another.)

The sad ones are the _worst_. Because half of the time she'd be crying along with sombre chords of the song.

He's faced the most notorious elf in recorded history and worried charge-less goblin bodyguards, but nothing scares him more than watching Sophie Foster cry.

He's such a sap.

So when Keefe popped over for a visit - at Sophie's own request, no less - it unnerved him to realise that the entire walk from the Leapmaster to Sophie's room, he's heard _nothing_. When asked, Edaline pressed her lips together and shook her head, worry obvious in her ageless features even without sensing them. "I'm not quite sure myself, but she's just been - quiet. She's barely said anything or ate anything at breakfast this morning, and I've only just returned from the birth of a pair of Eckodons this morning. Grady's still tending to the babies. We thought- since she's been doing so well for the past few days-"

The unfinished sentence was left hanging in the air, but it's meaning was clear. The group of them all had their bad days, trying but failing to cope with all the shit they've been through.

Sophie has never been the most withdrawn about things. She was always willing to share her experiences, no matter how much pain reliving the memories caused her. She's always been so strong.

Not this time. After a series of soft knocks, a weak come in prompted him to push her bedroom door open. only to see her sitting on her bed folded up upon herself, arms wrapped around her. Sophie didn't look up as he stepped in. Something twinged in his chest, sharp and sour.

"You called?" As he walked in, attempting to diffuse the situation and trying his best to be gentle, she drew up a shaky breath and buried her head into her hands. The entire room was dim and gloomy, with the curtains drawn closed. She probably didn't bother when she woke up.

He could see Vertina hovering on the edge of the mirror, but when he glanced at her, she quickly shied away. It must've been ...intense, whatever it was, for the usually proud spectral to be so subdued. 

"Hullo." Sophie sadly intoned, her downcast face tilted to the floor. She looked a right mess, and it wasn't because of the relatively-early start of her day. Droplets of sweat beaded at her hairline, despite her shivering in the cool September chill. Her prominent dark eye circles as she whipped her head up for a brief moment of eye contact showed how little sleep she has been getting.

It was obvious that this wasn't the first time it happened, whatever it was causing her not to sleep. "Rough night?" He gingerly manoeuvres himself so that he's sitting on the edge of her bed, close enough for her to be in arm's reach, but not too close. He waits. He always waits.

"Mmmhm." Incomprehensible murmuring could be heard as Sophie shifted slightly. When she spoke, her voice was barely louder than a whisper, hoarse like sandpaper. Like she had been screaming all night. "Couldn't sleep."

"Yeah?" He was surprised that she started talking this easily. She must've been really out of it today. "Day-dreaming about anyone in particular?"

She huffed out an almost-laugh in amusement, a short exhale really, but Keefe took it as a small victory. "I see...when I-at night- I see lots of faces when I close my eyes. I-I- don't really remember how it-them-no, they look like anymore, but they just keep-keep glaring at me and I just-" The emotions that were thrown at him were border lining on hysteria, and Keefe knew that he had to do something to change the topic, fast.

"Eckodons." It was such a random change of topic that Sophie's emotions immediately morphed into one of confusion.

"What?"

"Do Eckodons show when pregnant?"

The laughter that bubbled out of her was unlike any cool spring or bubbling stream that one might've found depicted in literature. If Keefe had to describe it, it would be desperation.

Desperation for some sense of normalcy in every changing times. Keefe pitied her, to a certain extent. Their lives have not been normal for a long time.

"Where's Fitz?" He couldn't help himself from asking. It was well known that Fitz would've grabbed any chance at being Sophie's knight in shining armour. The lack of his best friend was highly suspicious, especially when Sophie and Keefe were alone.

If it were in any other situation than this, Grady would've busted a blood vessel.

"D-didn'- I didn't wanna bother him. He said Al- he said that Alden was bringing out and-" To hell with boundaries. Keefe immediately stretched an arm out to wrap around her shoulders and pull her slightly in. Not close enough to be romantic, but to enough to ensure that she could sense the underlying affection.

The embarrassment and shame that was being projected towards him were evident in her blotchy cheeks. "I just wanted to talk to an Empath. No-none of the mindreading that always happens with-

"Telepaths? Yeah, I know the feeling."

Another time, Keefe would focus more on how disturbing the normalcy of mind-reading deemed by Telepaths. Some may say it was similar to his own Emphatic abilities, but now it was more about the distress that Sophie was feeling, how she was tearing herself up inside. Right now, she's thinking that everything happening to them was her fault, but Keefe knows that it was just a passing low.

All that he can do for the moment is to keep her company, to try and prevent her from letting her guilt consume her. 

"Mmmm...just - can you stay for a while? Unless you have anything else to do? Oh no, I shouldn't be asking you this so suddenly I didn't even know whether you had any other plans-" She's rambling again, her voice and body starting to shake in his arms. But Keefe's first thought was - _she needed him. She wanted him to help her. He was useful to her._ The burst of happiness that sprung in his chest surprised him, yet made him feel incredibly guilty. He shouldn't be feeling so happy now when Sophie was obviously miserable.

He wanted to say something sweet, something kind; but it wasn’t his forte, and it wasn’t what Sophie was looking for. She deserved laughter and joy in her life, not anxieties and stress. No doubt there was a barrel of issues looming over their heads - the Neverseen; Fintan; Silveny; but it was his unspoken role to bring laughter and jokes into their group dynamic. Not soft spoken murmurs of love.

All that he says must fade away with the laughter. No matter how real they seem to be, people only wait for the punchline, not the build up.

Joke: Sophie Foster loves him. Fact: They’re a mess. But they can be a mess together.

"Aw, you know I'll always make time for you Foster, all you had to do was just ask. It's no trouble at all." He hoped that she wouldn't detect the overwhelming emotion - _affection; concern; admiration-_ that was in his voice as he spoke, lightly squeezing her shoulder as they swayed in tandem to some unheard beat. Whatever she heard, it was soothing for Sophie, her sobs reduced to sniffles.

"You're never a bother to me."


End file.
